Friday, January 20, 2023
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After giving birth to three sons, Betty was happy to accept me as her first daughter. Despite not thinking at first that I was "good enough" for her precious boy, she came to embrace and love me too. As a young bride I wanted to be her "when I grew up". She has been my role model and my inspiration for my own marriage and family for the past 40 years.
Betty first of all had a deep desire to please and obey the Lord. Her relationship with Him was simple and straightforward. Her life was one of service and faithfulness to Him. Although it was never flashy, her devotion to service was deep and abiding. She would never be one to be seen at the front of a gathering but was always the one in the background cooking, organizing, cleaning and serving wherever needed.
In our early years together she taught me many housewifely skills such as how to can jams and jellies. We gardened together and I'll never forget the summer we had too much zucchini and used it in everything. We tried to "hide" it as an apple pie filling one time but Harv, who hated the taste of zucchini, managed to pick it out anyway. We laughed a lot in those days! She taught me how to make a collared shirt for my little boy out of one of Roy's old shirts. She taught me the value of sitting down and playing a board game in the afternoon. She loved to have chocolate milk at lunch if nobody else was around - just because she liked chocolate milk! She held me while I cried because my husband was away and I missed him. She cried then too because I loved her son so much. We had our ups and downs, tears and laughter together but we were the better for it.
Betty never forgot one of the children's or our birthdays or special days. There would always be a card or a note - never flashy but always with a personal inscription and often something "little" like a pressed flower. On the telephone, she was the one who "took notes" while asking questions, Roy always on the second handset, so they could pray for us and our children more specifically. We never doubted her deep prayer life on our behalf.
Another thing Betty loved to do was to get outside in nature and pick berries, plant flowers or work in her garden. Betty would go down the bushes beside the river across the street from their home in Prince Albert and would pick saskatoons and chokecherries. Her raspberry canes in the backyard were a temptation to the neighbourhood children but she was never cross at them for helping themselves. Rather she would go out and explain that they needed to wait till there were more on the cane. She never shied from talking to the people in her community. She also managed to put up quite a store room of jams and jellies that she was more than willing to share with anyone who came her way.
Betty's joy came from her generous spirit to serve others - often at the expense of her own happiness or preferences. Her life was one of sacrificial giving. She excelled at the practical! Her table often had several different feet under it as she prepared meals and beds for friends, students, college workmen in Pambrun. Rarely did she and Roy eat alone in Prince Albert. With hosting families, students, missionaries and anyone else who needed a meal or a bed, she baked and served, she cleaned and shopped wisely to support the mission at NCEM. She never felt "holy" about it but was happy to serve her Lord and add to someone else's wholeness at a cost to herself. She loved so much that it was easy for her to give. Service because of love was natural to her.
As we grew older, Betty and I had many talks about the differences we saw in each other through the years. We cried together many times and vowed to emulate the strengths we saw in each other. Her life was a living sacrifice; her joy was a result of her way of life. The witness of her giving service followed her in every town and neighbourhood she lived. Only God knows what it cost her; only she knew the true joy she gained. We witnessed her joy - even after dementia took her from us - when we called the nurses in the home in Rosthern to check up, they always told us she was "pleasantly confused". This is so Betty. Never one to make a fuss for herself, she always exhibited a gentle, quiet, uncomplaining spirit. She left us all a great inheritance, her life story. She never sought attention or praise for herself but her "life legacy" lives on.
Because of COVID and compromised immune system I have not been to see Betty in person for several years and won't be at the memorial gathering this weekend. Even though her dementia "took her" years ago, her physical passing leaves a great hole in my heart. She has left me some big footsteps to follow. I will miss her.
